Dan Gets a Desu Note
by Numisma
Summary: [Prince of Tennis x Death Note parody oneshot] Whatever a Desu Note is, it's just his luck, he thinks, that he came across it.


Disclaimer: I don't own Prince of Tennis or Death Note

-

Dan's first thought when he sends a bored glance out his classroom window just in time to see a notebook fall past is, oh my god, desu, someone dropped their notebook out the window desu.

Notebooks are common, everyday things that he comes into contact with all the time. He attends school every day and has been for several years, and notebooks are required for schoolwork. There is no reason to get all excited about one falling past his window. Shouldn't that sort of excitement be reserved for sighting a flying pig zooming by and waving at him?

Yet, Dan can't help blinking in a stupor at the window, zoning out from the teacher's words as she explains that day's lesson. Even after it passes from his sight, he spends several additional seconds staring at the bright blue sky, wondering if more school supplies will follow.

It is probably a very good notebook, he thinks absently, before turning back to the front of the classroom and forgetting about it for the time being. Someone is bound to pick it up.

That is why, when his final class lets out for the day several hours later, Dan is surprised to find that notebook lying on the grass outside. Is it even the same notebook? How will he know if it is? Dan asks himself this as he stoops to pick it up and thumb through the pages. It is completely blank.

Who would drop a brand new, unused notebook out the window?

Snapping it shut, Dan glances at the cover, which reads 'desu note' in scrawling in katakana. "Desu note? What's a desu note, desu?" He flips it open again, and this time on the inside cover he finds more writing. "The human whose name is written in this Desu Note shall... desu?"

Students mill around Dan, paying him and the strange notebook no mind.

"Oh no desu!" Dan suddenly exclaims. "If I don't hurry I'll be late for practice desu!" He slips the notebook into his school bag and skips off toward the tennis courts and the club room. There's no time now to ponder the meaning of the Desu Note's cryptic notation. That can wait till later.

All throughout practice Dan's mind is on nothing but tennis. Only after everyone's dismissed and he's halfway home do Dan's thoughts drift back to the Desu Note. Whatever a Desu Note is, it's just his luck, he thinks, that he came across it. There are all sorts of exercises, strategies, shots, and other such things he's supposed to be practicing now that he's no longer the manager for Yamabuki, now that he's working toward becoming a Regular, and his current tennis practice notebook is nearly full. Only the last few pages haven't been filled up yet. There's perfect timing in coming across this Desu Note.

With a smile on his face Dan unzips his bag and pulls out the notebook.

Desu Note. Hm. What a funny brand name for a notebook.

Two train rides later Dan lets himself inside, yelling out, "I'm home desu," to his mother before heading upstairs to his room. Desu Note in hand, he sets down his bag, jumps onto his bed, sprawls onto his stomach, and flips through the pages from cover to cover. There's no sign of any other words written anywhere, just the Desu Note on the front and the weird sentence inside about any names that might be written in the future.

Hm," Dan says, and sets the notebook aside. He glances at the little jar on his desk that holds all his pens and pencils, then back at the notebook. What will happen if he writes down someone's name? That person will desu? That doesn't make sense. Perhaps a word is missing, so Dan thinks long and hard, trying to fill in the blank, but finally comes up with nothing. There are too many possibilities, and that sentence doesn't look like something the notebook's previous owner (it must have had one) wrote down. It appears almost professionally printed in some stylised font, almost though not quite. He takes the notebook over to his desk and sits down, notebook open to the first page.

"The human whose name is written in this Desu Note," Dan reads aloud, "shall desu." He glances at the TV on his desk, then over his shoulder to check the clock above his bed, which reads nearly 6:00, then back at the TV. The news will start soon, so he turns on the TV halfway through a commercial. The commercial ends, and when the newsanchors for the 6 o'clock news are introduced, Dan watches carefully.

The head anchorman, Morikotoba Tetsu, is a polite young man who speaks clearly and confidently as he announces to viewers the latest developments in things that Dan knows nothing about aside from it having to do with science somehow. Dan wonders what will happen if he writes down Morikotoba Tetsu in the pages of his Desu Note. Well, only one way to find out.

Dan removes a pencil from his little jar. Morikotoba starts in on the weather. Dan begins writing down the kanji for Morikotoba Tetsu, grinning with every pencil stroke. He finishes just as the newsanchor is halfway through describing tomorrow's forecast.

"-expect lots of sunshine late into the afternoon, followed by a cool front and scattered evening showers. Residents over in the western part of Japan-"

Dan isn't sure how long he's supposed to wait till whatever he's just done to Morikotoba the newsanchor takes effect, he really has no clue, so he waits and watches and listens. The seconds drag by. Dan stares. The newsanchor drones on.

After what seems like a minute or so, Dan squints, sighs and reaches to turn the TV off.

"And now, for our top story desu."

Dan's hand freezes. His eyes widen. "Did he just say what I think he said desu?"

"-has set a new record for memorising pi desu. This time the honor goes to a bright young ninth grader from Seishun Gakuen, a boy named Inui Sadaharu-san desu. Already well renowned throughout the school for his extraordinary skills in mathematics, Inui-san now holds the title of Japanese record-holder for memorising digits of the mathematical constant desu. He has-"

Shoulders tense, Dan quickly changes the channel, flipping through the shows until he finds someone else on whom he can test out the Desu Note. Drama, no. Cooking show, no. Game show rerun, no. Live interview on another station with a famous pop idol known for his rough, casual speech- Dan quickly writes down that familiar name and slams his pencil down, staring at the screen, waiting patiently.

"And starting in August you'll begin work on your new album, is that correct?" asks the snappily dressed woman to the idol's left.

"Come on, come on, come on desu!" says Dan excitedly, hands balled into fists. The idol's taking his sweet time in thinking out his answer beforehand. Dan wants the results now.

"August, yeah, sounds 'bout right. 'Course, m'always constan'leh workin' on songwritin' desu. Already got-" The idol makes an abrupt cut-off in his train of thought, frowning. "...what'd I jus' say desu?" He eyes the interviewer warily, sending a sideways glance toward the camera, then lifts a hand to feel the front of his throat. "Uh, 'scuse me desu. I think ah'm not-"

"Yes desu!" Dan cheers, pumping a fist in the air. "It works desu! The Desu Note is real desu!"

Just then, Dan's gaze falls on the green headband Akutsu-senpai let him have earlier that year, which is hanging over the corner of his computer screen, next to the TV.

"Hm." Dan glances out the window, then back at the headband. There's a long pause, where he seems to be thinking hard about something. Then he grins.

-

"Akutsu-senpai?"

"The hell is it now desu?" Akutsu grumbles, glowering at no one in particular. Sitting next to him, with the same grin on his face that's been plastered there for the past two months, with a half-eaten ice cream sundae before him, is Dan. Dan giggles around his next spoonful.

"Don't feel down desu," he says with a slurp.

Akutsu snorts and glares at the waitress passing by, who shies away in a frantic move. "Don't tell me what to fucking do desu."

"Oh, I'm not desu." Dan shovels another scoop of ice cream into his mouth. "It's just a suggestion desu."

"Whatever desu," Akutsu gruntingly concedes, his only consolation being that half the nation seems afflicted with this excessive 'desu'-ing and it's not just he who's going insane. As Dan finishes off his sundae, Akutsu flits his gaze to his own. While partially melted, it is still otherwise untouched.

"You're not eating your ice cream desu."

Akutsu lets out a sigh, and reaches for the spoon.

Dan keeps smiling, his only thoughts being that it's yet another beautiful, desu-ful day, and that he'll have to slow down how quickly he goes through the phone books. From what he's heard, tendonitis is not very fun desu, and he needs to keep in shape desu.

It's a good thing tennis practice hits two birds with one stone.


End file.
